Why is it that some evenings I muster every ounce of strength that I have just to cook up a pot of  Top Ramen, finding no pleasure in the cooking  process, the eating or the clean-up.  Although other nights I feel inspired and create masterpieces of creative cuisine, loving the chopping, sautèing, washing the dishes, presenting the dishes, eating the meal, washing more dishes… ah… the memories of my fondness for cooking settles over me with a smile.  But, let me tell you, the mundane daily must-do’s can really bore me and get me down!

I was thinking about all the ways I prescribe to changing my outlook, and therefore, my mood, around these ordinary tasks and I was struck with the concept that I shake it up!  I get out there!  I DO things, go places, visit people, throw parties, exercise, tickle my teenager until he wants tackle me into submission!  I create new experiences so that my life constantly has to evolve and grow, so it never really becomes too repetitious.  Right down to the food I cook… rarely do I ever produce the same thing twice!

Life is an adventure that needs to be explored!  We live on a planet that is full of opportunity!  And, I know what you may be thinking… “Well, with this economy, there needs to be cut-backs and sacrifices.  Can’t just run off to Rome to see the Pantheon, now can we?”  lol  Perhaps not.  But, I would wager to say that most of you haven’t even explored your own backyard, much less the community that you live in.  So, check out what’s happening in your home town. What do tourists want to see when they come to your town?  Have you ever gone to check it out?  You may live in NYC, and you see the Statue of Liberty every day from your office window, but have you ever actually taken the ferry out to it, paid for a ticket and explored the Statue itself?

Get creative.  Get moving.  Get curious.

Go big in life, with colorful things that please you, surround yourself with people that warm your heart or stretch your mind, take that trek to the beach that you’ve waited all your life to do, taste a bite of that ethnic food that scares you, take a painting class knowing full well that your 5th grade art teacher told your parents you had no talent for art, sing in the shower, take an algebra class at the community college if that’s your thing, take pictures of inanimate objects and use them as your facebook profile picture, just do something!  Or,  just go home!

Brandi Carlile croons these lyrics in her song, The Story.  And, oh what a song… that lady has some serious pipes!

The reason I bring these lyrics up is because I’ve realized that I am getting old.  Well, at least, older.  I’m getting the telltale crinkles around my eyes, the darker sun spots on my face and hands.  Some of my skin is getting crepe-y.  I catch myself on occasion wanting to fight it!  Fight these signs that steal my youth!  Spend countless dollars on services to delay the inevitable!  Alas, my budget won’t allow for fancy treatments or plastic surgery and I wonder if I’d go back to smoother skin if it meant that I would have to erase the many smiles that created the permanent crinkles.  The hours worshiping the sun, playing outside and laughing with my friends, to rid myself of some age spots.  The manual labor of gardening and massaging people, chopping wood, painting color on my walls… would I go back and do it differently, just to have the delicate, beautiful hands of nobility?

I don’t think so.  Actually I know I wouldn’t.  Every line, wrinkle, spot and sag is a story.  It’s my story.  It’s my experience, my memory, my life.  It hasn’t all been good, but it’s been mine.  Now, about those gray hairs springing up! Those, I think, are because of my son!  :)  But again, wouldn’t trade ‘em for nothing!

Here I am, sharing my thoughts and feelings through the medium of this blog, unsure if anyone ever reads it or even cares.  But, perhaps it really doesn’t matter anyway?  I’m putting the words out there, the thoughts that may or may not hold relevancy for someone.  I’m expressing myself and sharing my story, and like Brandi says, paraphrased, your story doesn’t mean anything if you haven’t someone to share it with….

So, thank you.  Whoever you are, for letting me share my story, parts of me, the old and sagging parts, the young and invigorating  memories… with you.

That’s so intuitive, isn’t it?  How often do we allow ourselves to be talked out of a great idea just because the person we were talking to had a bad experience with something similar.  Life is so subjective.  You take one person who gave up everything to pursue his dream and ends up losing everything, dying a pauper.  And another person, with similar dream who also gives up everything, and hits the nail on the head and is able to manifest her passion and have the life she’d always dreamed of!  The difference between those two people may be something big, or something very minute. (see anything written by Malcolm Gladwell for more information on this phenomenon)

Imagine talking to the man about how you would like to manifest your passion and what advice he may give you.  Then imagine talking to the woman about the same concept.  Understandably, the two people are likely to give very, very different advice.  And, are either one correct?  Is the woman correct, just because she was successful?  Was the man correct because he was not?  Likely there would be valuable information to gain from talking to each of them.  The problem arises when you take on the outcome with their story and let it taint your experience.

Each of us are so wonderfully unique, with strengths and weaknesses that accommodate for greatness, or act as Murphy’s Law for others.  So, it’s important to evaluate ourselves constructively before we dive in to anything headfirst.  Make lists.

1.  What am I good at?  What am I poor at?

2.  Am I an introvert or an extrovert, and how does that play into my idea I’m wanting to manifest?

3.  Who and what are my resources?

4.  What type of financial backing do I need to manifest this?  Where will I get the necessary funding?

5.  Do I work best alone or in a team?  What is my motivation factor?

Once you do the initial brainstorming about who you are in this world, then you can see if it would be prudent for you to gather a team and/or investors.  Then take some time to write out an outline of your 5 yr. goal and how to get there step by step, writing it in the present tense with measurable results. Continue doing this for your 4, 3, 2, 1 year goals and 6 months, 3 months, 1 month goals.  All of these goal writing steps should be taken in specific, strategic, results oriented language.

Using your Goals as your guide, create a plan of ACTION.  How are you going to implement your skills and those of others in order to go the distance with manifesting your dreams?  What things do you need to do daily? Weekly? Monthly?

All the while you are putting together the outline for your future, remember when and if you choose to share your ideas with others, that you don’t allow their negative interpretations to become your reality!  Their stories are their own.  Go forth and create your own reality, your own story!  And, allow it to be fruitful!

The thing that I really enjoyed about The Go-Giver was the way that the authors were able to craft an enjoyable story with the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success.  These “laws” exact the components of very successful people, with the idea that if you apply these Five Laws, you can also become successful.  So, here they are:

“THE LAW OF VALUE

Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.

THE LAW OF COMPENSATION

Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.

THE LAW OF INFLUENCE

Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.

THE LAW OF AUTHENTICITY

The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.

THE LAW OF RECEPTIVITY

The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.”

~by Bob Burg and John David Mann

For a long time in my life, I held the belief that for me to be a good person, I needed to give, give, give and it wasn’t necessary for me to receive (much).  But, what happens when you do that is that you deprive other people of the joy of being able to give too.  My former husband told me repeatedly that I was a really good giver, but a terrible receiver, and ultimately, it played a role in destruction of our marriage.  Part of that equation was that he was a really good receiver… I suppose that was the attraction, the opposites attract phenomenon, until it got old for both of us.

It HAS to be reciprocal, cause when it’s not, everything falls apart!  So, when we go about our business, as well as, our personal lives, if we make a concerted effort to give more than we intend to receive, and yet still keep ourselves open to reception, the universe will cooperate and give, give, give!  Both needs met simultaneously!

I encourage each of you to open yourself up to these five laws and explore how to fit them into your lives.  Allow the success to follow, and ENJOY!

Isn’t it terribly uncomfortable, this thing we call living?  Here we are, going through the motions, day in and day out, and constantly wanting.  We continue to do what we do, and we continue to dream of what we want.  My question is, when did we decide that the two ideas were mutually exclusive?  When did we back ourselves into the closet, pull the door closed, and then proceed to lock the door.  From the inside.  When did we decide that life had to be so hard and unsatisfying?

I believe that life is hard.  And, satisfying.  It’s hard because I push myself towards new challenges.  I ask tough questions.  I think and feel deeply, I often over-analyze and explain my feelings to people until they are bored into oblivion or they feel condescended.  So, in some ways, I guess I contribute to life being hard not only for myself, but for others as well!

As we push one another and ourselves though, we push through our self-taught limitations.  We dip our toes into the metaphorical pool of possibilities.  And, we find that the water feels good… Much like diving into a cool pool on a hot day, shocking and uncomfortable at first, then stimulating, refreshing, soothing, enlightening later!  All new things are unnerving at first.  And yet, typically, once we fully dive in, they become normal and safe in a hurry.

I think it’s important to look at what is normal and safe in our lives and see if that resonates as a “good” thing or a “bad” thing.  Look for small changes you can make that will motivate you towards fulfillment and joy!  Maybe it’s something just as simple as rearranging your living room to start.  Maybe it’s hiring a life coach to help you carve out and give form to your ideas so you can manifest your deepest desires.  However you decide to do it, do it!  Make some changes.  Try something new.  Carve your path and make your own torch to light your way!

Check out this awesome, yet bumpy, video clip on being a leader!

And, it is also the path to success.

Those who make it big in life are those that choose to keep trying.  To fall again and again, refining and perfecting their entrance, their exit, their posture, their timing, their proposal… tweaking all of their approach to align themselves with success!

I believe that all of us are meant to ride the wave.  We are all meant for success, we only have to define what success means to us individually.  I don’t mean what society has told us it’s supposed to mean, but the meaning that is clear to us on the deepest, most cellular level.  Only we can know that and often it is a very private understanding.

My thought for today is, what is your definition of success?  Are you living it?  What steps do you need to take in order for you to metaphorically stand up on your board and ride your wave?  Who do you need to talk to?  When you sit quietly, what does God or your intuition tell you?  If you were to die now, would you be pleased with your life?   What would you change?

Write out what comes to you and I challenge you to start taking action and manifest your own success.  One baby step at a time, learning from all the times you have fallen and will fall, Ride YOUR Wave!

I’m wondering if there are many others out there that feel this way? I’ll try to explain more in depth what I mean…

Sometimes, in the midst of a deep emotion, I’m struck by the thought that if I were on the spiritual plane, I wouldn’t be emoting at all. Likely, I would just be reflecting upon the learnings the event provided. It sounds cold and callous to even write that, because there are certain events that are surely worthy of deep emotion. I do believe this. I just sometimes also believe that if I were in Spirit form, or rather, sometimes when I am more aligned with my spiritual self, the emotions wouldn’t be so profound because I would understand fully the continuance of everything. For example, my humanness allows me to cry when my Grandmother passed away. I’m crying for selfish reasons because I will miss her and do miss her in my life in the physical form. My spiritual form sees it as a wonderful opportunity for my Grandmother to shed the body that was no longer serving her and to move on to new challenges. My Spirit sees it as a rebirth into the next phase of the life cycle. My Human self sees it as the death and loss of something valuable.

The contradiction is obtuse. And, conversely, acute. Eckhart Tolle talks much in his book, The New Earth, about how to better align ourselves with our Spirit self. And, I agree so much. And, I disagree in part as well. His brilliant book was groundbreaking in many ways and so elegant and helpful. The part that I disagree with are minor, but huge in the big picture. I believe that we choose as Spirits to have human experiences and that we aren’t meant to experience life solely from an esoteric perspective. We choose to be here. We choose to experience hurt, joy, frustrations, love, empowerment and impoverishment. We choose to feel deeply and fully a myriad of emotions and experiences.

So, sometimes in the midst of an emotional outburst, I will chastise myself for the emotion. I will go into a disconnect with my feelings, trying to explore the highest good of the situation and why or how my emotion is acceptable, or not, and how to improve it later. I think its okay to do that, as it may help me in my journey to understanding myself and what I am doing here, but I also think its important allow human expression as it radiates.

And so, I come back to the idea that we are NOT our emotions, just as we are NOT our occupations, or anything else that we align our selves with. We are not nouns, but an abundance of adjectives!

We are Spiritual beings that have chosen to have a Human experience.  And, that doesn’t just involve positive experiences!  While we are in human form, it is only natural and necessary to have human emotions.  That’s what we signed up for and that’s what we are getting.

I encourage you to explore when and how you most emote.  When is it acceptable in human form?  When is it unacceptable?  What can you do to balance your humanness with your spirituality?  If you look at the way you emote from a higher perspective, what do you see?  What do you feel?  What type of human experience do you want to have?  Chunk up or down your perspective so that you can find the balance that will best serve you and others and enlighten you at the same time!

Did I mention that this is scary?!  Holy crud, making a humongous leap of faith like this kind of move is like being set on the edge of a cliff, blind-folded, spun around 10 times (like the game “Pin the Tail on the Donkey”), and then told to walk forward and trust that the Universe isn’t going to let you walk off the edge!  But, alas, I am doing just that, trusting my instincts, trusting the Universe, and allowing it to flow.  And, it will flow… right?!

So, I’m drinking my coffee on this lazy Sunday morning and wondering, when is the last time you’ve done something that you’ve really, really wanted to do and have felt the cosmic “pull” towards doing, even though it’s scary and the end result is unclear?  Have you pushed through and done it?  Have knocked on the door of the unknown and walked through?

So, let me be frank when I say that if you are really, really wanting to rob a bank and you think that the Universe if guiding you to become an infamous bank robber, it’s likely NOT the Universe, it’s mental illness.  You see, the Universe will call you to action and change and steadfastness only with things that are ecological (good for you, others and the world) and stealing isn’t ecological… even when you’re good at it!

What is the Universe calling you to do?  It’s now 2010 and the world is your oyster.  I know there has been a lot of gloom and doom talk about the economy.  I know that the “economy” has become the #1 excuse for all the problems of the world.

And, I think it’s crap.

The economy cycles, when we get more “up” financially, people start getting greedy and then Karma comes in and hands out tickets.  Then we start falling into a “down” cycle and people start depending more upon one another and helping out for the greatest good.  So, my point being, don’t let the down economy stop you from manifesting your aspirations!  Now is the time to take your well designed goals and turn them into reality!

Be brave, young soldiers, step up and out of your comfort zone and trust that the Universe will guide you in your quest.  And, I will heed my own advice and keep plugging away with all of the details to make my dreams a reality too!

Happy New Year!

It’s hard sometimes to not get upset when you are un-friended through resources such as facebook and myspace.  This recently happened to me and even though the un-friending took place by someone that I was wanting to un-friend myself, it still stung.  You see, this person and I have had a very tumultuous relationship.  And, as much as I didn’t see her as someone I wanted to associate with on a personal, one-on-one level, I did want to maintain some sort of acquaintance.  I didn’t want to burn any bridges or hurt any feelings, and frankly, I wanted to be able to be social with her if I saw her out and about.  That being said, our last encounter was one that I still sometimes find myself replaying in my mind, trying to make sense out a narcissistic mess!  So today I pondered what it meant to me that she didn’t even want to be friends with me via a social networking site.

And, then the weight lifted.

I realized that I have been asking the Universe to put people into my life that will help me grow and become better.  People that will mirror both my strengths and weaknesses.  I want to surround myself with other seekers and ones that aren’t afraid of what they find out about themselves.  People that will be proactive in making necessary corrections.  And, the Universe is answering my prayers.  The people that need to be in my life for me to live out my purpose, are the people that are in it in every present moment.  And that means that its okay for people to filter in and out when its appropriate.  In essence, the Universe did a little weeding for me.  And, as with any growth,  it can sometimes be painful or touchy, but none-the-less beneficial.

So, next time you want to “un-friend” someone, or they “un-friend” you, think of it as the Universe’s way of helping you get out of a relationship that no longer serves you.  Helping you to focus on growing your garden, not just weeds!

Why do people do bad things? Why is it that sometimes we even KNOW that its bad, and we still can’t stop ourselves from doing it. The next question is, who decided that it was bad?

I’m just going to let you pause for a moment to absorb that last question…

Did someone a long time ago make a list of “rights” and “wrongs,” and then sell the package to mainstream earth? Or did it come about organically, based on the consensus of the times and the needs of the people?

I’ve noticed that in the last 100 years the definitions of what is “right and wrong” has certainly evolved. Funny, similar concept with me… And you? Have you found that your ideas about what are right and wrong have grown, changed, mutated, become blurry or otherwise as you have enjoyed and detested the world around you? As the hair on your head becomes thinner and the inevitable grays become thicker, are the ideas and beliefs thinning and thickening as well?

In the early 1900′s, us women were choosing to have full and equal responsibilities as that of men. At some point, that choosing became demanding and the demanding became fighting for our rights for equality. In the 1960′s, Black Americans stood up and fought for their rights. Currently, Gay Americans are demanding equality as well, and thankfully starting to actually make some headway! Years back, this wouldn’t have even been thought possible. People wouldn’t have even thought twice about bigotry towards women, minorities, and homosexuality. But now, people are coming together and demanding a new precedent be set for what is “right and wrong”! I am thrilled to see justice be served and our brothers and sisters be given opportunities that never should have been excluded from them in the first place!

So, right and wrong… What is it that you have to be so dog-gone right about, right now? Because maybe someday very soon, you’ll change your mind.